IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU...

Four words that changed my life. First sentence in Rick Warren's #1 Best Seller "The Purpose Driven Life." I had to put the book down after that sentence--and I put it down for quite sometime. I cried like a baby. A tinch dramatic--but I did. My answer to all that I was searching for at that time was in that one small sentence.

In a society centered on "me," this just does not register. Surely, "The Purpose Driven Life" must be about ME obtaining MY goals--surely the pages of this book must be laced with things I should do for ME. Not at all! It "ain't 'bout you." It is about that person sitting next to you --on your right over there--oh and that one that is standing in front of you ---you know the one you just can't stand to be around.

These four words brought full circle my hurts, my anguish and my pain...pain lavished upon me at the hands of others--others quite close to me. You never, ever sometimes know the precise reason God placed someone in your life. I have come to realize that I don't know --nor should I why God put someone right smack dab in my pathway because it is "NOT ABOUT ME." My penchant for organizing, my eye for detail, my keen discerning spirit, my love for the mind and keeping it well lubed through eductation...not to mention my wit and oh boy, my sense of of laying it out straight--in love... are gifts not for hoarding or for personal gain --but for others -- you see... it is simply "Not about me..."

My hurts only hurt sooo bad because I personalized my gifts...made it about me. When I helped others and still got chewed up and spat out...I decided to withhold all of the gifts that God blessed me with --Kept them locked up -- "Ain't nary a person gonna hurt me anymore. :)" -- I soon felt bottled up... limted...felt like I was pacing on a treadmill... stubborn, angry...not willing to share freely...shoot even broke...and I love a well endowed bank account. Me not giving of self... blocked all arteries...nothing going out... hence---nothing coming in...

I can't stop the hurt...but I can lessen the blow going foward, by knowing that I do what I do like I do it because I have been so richly blessed--and the one who blesses so amazingly has got a sistah's back... and front... and side...:) Yes, I am blessed to be a blessing. For the giver, it is not how it is received..but how it is given. For if I give it freely --even when spit is hurled--all will still be well for I am richly blessed because I now know and have the key to life...We are here for each other...pain (OUCH!) and all.

Oh how liberating it is to know that it is "NOT ABOUT ME!"

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT...

What you know about that? What you know about that? I know all about that?

Lyrics from song by Atlanta Rapper and "movie star" --T.I.

"A-T-L ...A-T-L...."

Momma took the kids to see the movie "ATL" this weekend. I initially dreaded the notion. Naw not another take on "Boyz in the Hood" --Naw say it ain't soooo. I'd rather see Ice Age 2. Come on kids.-work with a mother here. I thought I'd nabbed my daughter--who inspite of her looks is a big 10 year old --BABY. Surely she'll want to see Ice Age 2 with mommie (I'm still mommie and I'm holding--no momma or heaven forbid --"mother").

Kids...they conspire and work together just when you think you've got them bagged. They nixed Ice Age 2 --or so my son said --and "they" decided that ATL was the one to see this weekend... Yeah --Right---(You bribed her...didn't you number one son?)

My "pre-teen" son fashioned seeing ATL the minute he saw the previews a few weeks back. "Mommie"(I'm still holding here remember)--he whispers during the previews at the movies "I wanna see that." ''Shoooot" was my response ---"You've got to be kidding me!" Thinking, this has to be the right response--all that stuff in his face and I'm paying for it. Naw--gotta say no--or so a mommie thought...

Weeks pass--a little brother never forgets--Then comes all of this ridiculous hoopla--My vanilla friends stirred the racial pot. Talkin' much smack about extra police protection during the release of this film. Oh no they didn't! says my Angela Davis 'fro wearing alter ego. She comes out when stupid stuff like this happens. "Not only are we going," I say, "but we're going the first night --with the so-called 'gangstas' that will be at the theater." "Arrest me if you will!"

Angela retreats... Ice Age 2 starts lookin' good again...Not wise to go to any "brotha" released movies on the first night. Even my son looks at me cross-eyed when I tell him that I'm going to the movie on the first night --and I'm going to go where I know all the "violent" Negroes will be.

Well,to make a long blog short--we see the movie on Sunday--two days after the "uneventful" opening. Lil bitty T.I. -- no bigger than my slender 12 year old son,on the screen running things. It is not a grammy award winning production--but I liked it. Oh yeah -- I got annoyed with the protrayal of air-headed, gum-popping, weave wearing, booty-shaking, dumb as a door knob, southern girls. Luckily--there was a slight twist to this protrayal in one of the females --or I would have puked leaving the theater. It made a good point --and had a happily ever after ending--quite unlike "Boyz in the Hood." Folks even clapped when it was over...

Yep --I liked it--and I let my kids see it. SHAME ON ME! Naw shame on you for judging me. I dialog with my kids. You name it--we TALK about it. I talk all through the dang movie...pre-marital teen sex isn't something I espouse---but they see it and hear of it--so I talk about it...You'd be surprised at my dialog and what my innocent looking scary suburban kids know. Straight from the mouths of Mommie and Daddy.

By the way -- I've seen 100 times more violence in "Vanilla Ice" blockbuster movies than I saw in ATL. Is anything ever mentioned about racial uproar for ALL of the zillions of movies out there with MUCH MUCH MUCH worse violent scences than what was on the screen in ATL?...Shoot...I've seen more violent cartoons.

Back down Angela...Back down....

As we were leaving the theatre, I see a uniformed vanilla ice police officer standing in the lobby when the movie is over --with another one his vanilla "head of security" looking friends...staring down the hallway in the direction of where the movie ATL was playing. Angela rises again and shouts -- "There was no violence in the theater!" -- Luckily, they are too consumed with their staring and hemming and hawing...that they didn't hear me. Luckily--- my children didn't need to see me with handcuffs on....

A-T-L...A-T-L...A-T-L...

TRUE CONFESSIONS...

True confessions...

I watch "ANTM" -- "America's Next Top Model"

Uh Huh...A reality T.V. show...Featuring none other than Miz Tyra Banks...Does she really have big hips --or is that just the T.V. playing tricks?

I'm no reality T.V. junkie...I would admit that I am a"peeping Tom or Tammy" ...I'll cruise the T.V. stations and peek in on them every now and then...but I don't rush home and pop some popcorn to sit in front of the T.V. and watch them.

I don't have a clue why I like this show...at an all time high of 5' 2"--I never harbored dreams of being a "super" model...never...and Heaven help me if I put on heels higher than 2 inches...and I struggle with those two inches...I bump into things too...don't think America wants to see a short model with flat shoes on falling all over herself on the runway...Naw ain't a pretty sight :) -

Hands down that African chick --Nnema --who is now sporting a bald head...should win... Nnema is a genuine African queen...I like her from the inside out...smart too--she's a chemist...Dang...pretty and smart...

Now the three other Black chicks...they just make me laugh out loud...there's Furonda -- This is where I first started laughing...who the heck ever heard of the name "FUR--RONDA" -- FUR is full of self...straight out some hick country town in Arkansas...almost got booted off the show a few weeks ago. Then there is Danielle --she too from Arkanas...with "country girl kick your a--" persona to boot. Danielle lists her occupation as "Babysitter" on her bio...too funny...she has the makings of a model...more than "Fur" --but she gives you the impression that she'd cut you with her butcher knife in a hot second... Lastly, there is Jade...Jade is down right CRAZY...Jade needs medicine...they'll keep Jade on because she along with FUR adds all of the drama to the show...Jade scares me...serial killer in the making that Jade...walkin' 'round in her drawers...

Since I'm no real "junkie" --I don' t know when this show comes on...it is on UPN...and I'm guessing it comes on on Wednesdays--the night that I should be in Bible study...forgive me Father...for I am sinning on Wednesdays...

The first week I tuned in --they posed with "bald head" caps on --to give them the appearance of a completely bald head...Last week they cozied up in frigid temperatures to blocks of ice...

Can't wait for the next show...what will they do next?

By they way...the winner gets to date that little booger of a man with the BIG clock around his neck...Flava Favvvvv....I surfed his show on VH1 --- How low can you GO?

OUR OWN PRISONS...

I've fashioned myself as a "Black" Erma Bombeck...a humorist of sorts. That is what I intended this blog to be...I thought...because "It ain't that deep..." Oh well...the laughter will come...Trust me, I can't live without it--Need that daily dose--If only a chuckle out loud to myself. We have made ourselves our own self-imposed prisoners. Imprisoned by our own ideas of success. Images that mold our self-worth, limit our views of others and keeps us stymied (look that one up--I think it means what I think it means:>--Heck I have that hidden vocabulary that creeps up on me--from reading for ages now.--darn that reading)

Back to the prison thing--I do digress at times...

We imprison ourselves by throwing away our childhood dreams--Under the guise of "maturity" we chuck away our youthful dreams and replace them with the metal bars of a prison cell. Surely that treasured degree in Biotechnology and Applied Linguistics (made this one up) with a minor in Latin takes the place of wanting to be the "jacks" champion of the world. Who me? Knock a hard earned education laced with student loans? NOT ME -- "Miz Get Your Education" and "Knowledge is Power..."Naw, don't get a "Cyncere" sister wrong...loves me some knowledge --and likes to get me "some" often :)

I've wandered again...

Quite often...what we were going to "be" when we are all grown up was planted in our heads by God when we were children. Loved to "play in the dirt again?" -- dreamt of being outdoors with the trees, the plants and yuck the bugs and worms...ever heard of a horticulturist?...Shoot, truth be told many of our old uncles mowed plenty lawns and earned a "good" living doing so--We'd call them "Landscape Engineers" today -- Oh how we love titles :) Ah but old "Unc" didn't have a high falutin' degree strung around his neck..."Unc" just did that because he couldn't get a real job--right? Old uncle however, drove a "paid for" gangster lean Caddy--quite unlike our Escalades tethered with a 6 year note. Unc left the wifey with a "paid for" fully furnished (with cash) home when he left this earth. Quite unlike our 30 yr mortgaged and twice refinanced homes.

Our prisons are self-imposed--because we relinquished our dreams to what we considered both mature and acceptable. Screw maturity--well not all of it...but the part that keeps you imprisoned...fly that kite, buy an Etch-a-Sketch -- pull that Easy Bake Oven out and bake away-Heaven knows you want to cook all day instead of type-buy some Play Doh -and sculpt til your hearts content...who knows...the Picasso in you might finally emerge. Get some crayons---and draw that picture in your head. It's time for parole....are you ready to be released?

Ahhh the skillet (moi) calling the pot black...

HAVE YOU HUGGED A KATRINA VICTIM...ER...SURVIVOR LATELY?

I am a native Crescent City queen...a die hard Saints fan...with zero knowledge of the game..."Who dat talkin' 'bout beatin' those Saints? Who dat? Who dat?" -- Win, lose, draw...I'm rooting for the Saints...and I'm accustomed to the "L" word when it comes to the Saints...so don't expect me to cringe when they lose...just another excuse for a party...I hail from uptown...near Claiborne and Leonidas...across from "Hollygrove" -- Yeah, you got that right...if you want to be cute...you say "I'm from the Carrollton area"...if you wanna be down with your kinfolks...tell 'em straight up --I'm from "Pigeon Town" --I'm told it should be "Pension Town" -- but my kinfolks and I know it by the name of that nasty bird...the pigeon...and I'm sticking with that :)

To the point...Now that you know the details of where I'm from I have a question for one and all--Have you hugged a Katrina "SURVIVOR" lately? Have ya? OR now that the dust is settling--are you judging folks. Blaming every wayward crime on dem Katrina folks. Ooops...baby at the nursery caught a cold...gosh darn it, she must have got that from that new chile from New Orleans --uh huh...heard she had the "cooties"--Cat fight break out in Club Walmart on Panola ( and you know why they call it the "Club Walmart")...Two of dem Katrina folks...Lawd dem folks stealing everything...everything...and they talk funny too...(ok we do just a little)

Aww but no...Looking me right in my face and talkin' about my folks...Folks who left home without a single toothbrush... folks with big time degrees...like you and me...folks driving gas guzzling SUV's, sleek Mercedes and Lexus'...folks like you and me (naw not me on this one...)--folks with a little cash in the bank--just like--er you...folks with jobs...folks with no jobs...folks living from one paycheck to next --FOLKS JUST LIKE YOU AND ME...

Have you walked a mile in their shoes? Have you? You cannot fathom what is like to be completely uprooted as fast as you bat an eyelash...Yeah...they had their Mardi Gras...(I too thought it ridiculous...until...)--but they needed a release...a chance to sigh out loud...a chance to forget about all of the FEMA red tape...the never-ending hassles with insurance companies...trailers...and the lack thereof...living in strange places..with people who look like them...but JUDGE them.

Don't judge folks...ye who live from one paycheck to the next with bad credit a couple dollars in the bank and surviving because of the sheer grace of God. Don't judge, please don't judge...because you're judging my father and mother...two kind souls who don't meet strangers...who give unconditionally. You're judging my sister Mable---who held them all together like glue with her home completely destroyed...Kudos Mable...You're judging my sister Idell --with three young children under the age of 6...and no real address to call their own...imagine their lives...You're judging my brother Kenneth --the hardest working man I know...You're judging my brother Jason...who learned a valuable lesson when he escaped...yes escaped with just the clothes on his back....Katrina -- SURVIVORS....

Have you hugged a Katrina... SURVIVOR... lately? Find one and do it!